In Nigeria, just like in other
African countries, it is believed that infidelity is mostly an exclusive
preserve of men, but many married women also engage in it, findings have shown.
However, while science proves that men are
naturally wired to lust after women and sometimes engage in extra-marital
affairs, women are mostly pushed into cheating on their husbands by situations
mostly beyond their control.
Omowale Ogunrinde believes there is no justifiable reason to commit adultery.
Rebecca, a married woman in her 30s who lives
in Agege, a suburb of Lagos state, has explained how she cheats on her husband.
Speaking during a live programme on radio, the
woman explained that she was cheating on her husband of five years and though,
she was being pricked by her conscience, it has been difficult to stop.
The mother of three was asking for
advice on what to do to end the extra-marital affairs.
Actually deflowered by her husband three years
before they got married, she never tasted any other man until last year when
her husband began to behave funny.
He stopped interacting with her “and
there was no longer that attention that he always showed me and when I asked,
he would say it is because of his new job.
“A colleague in the office was always there
for me and before I knew it, I had slept with him. Believe me, my first
experience with this new man was like I was in heaven. He did things to me that
I never experienced all my life.
“Since then, love making with my
husband has been extremely boring. I really want to leave the other
relationship because I know it is a sin, but it’s been difficult.
I often can’t hold myself when I am with this
colleague,” she said. NAIJ.com has gathered that some extra-marital affairs
engaged in by married women have sometimes led to illegitimate children.
Olujimi, a resident of Ota, in Ogun state told our correspondent how he dated a
married woman last year and how she man currently has a child for him.
According to him, the woman’s
husband works in Lagos and only visits home at weekends. “As a result, we
started dating after becoming friends on Facebook
. Four months later, she told me she
was pregnant and that I was responsible,” Olujimi said, adding that he thought
the woman was joking. “She later had the child, a girl, and I attended the
naming ceremony sponsored by the woman’s husband who believes that he is the
baby’s father,” he added.
Victoria, a 32-year old married Igbo
woman, also told our correspondent on Eskimi, a dating site, that she had
cheated on her husband because even though the man was extremely caring, he is
not good in bed.
“I am a person who knows what she wants in
bed. Sincerely, I have tasted the better part of sex and wanted a man who is
also a professional.
But because of pressure from my
family and the fact that the man is caring, I was forced to marry him. “I don’t
enjoy the marriage. He has a ‘good stuff’ down there but doesn’t know how best
to use it. The worse is that he is even not ready to learn because he thinks
that learning too much about sex could be a sin.
“So while I take care of him at
home, I find time to grease myself up,” she said. Sometime ago, Olubunmi Ajayi,
a 36-year old housewife approached the Alakuko customary court in Lagos seeking
to divorce her husband because he has a small penis.
“Since I married my husband, Sunday
Olabiyi, two years ago, he has never satisfied me sexually,” she had told the
court.
Another reason, as has been learnt
from previous reports, is the need by some women to take revenge on their
unfaithful husbands. This is more with the agitation for equality.
The Nigerian Senate recently threw out a bill
seeking to make women have same opportunities as the men. One of the unreported
reasons for this was the fear that it could make women equal to men in the
home-front as well as encourage unfaithfulness.
Omowale Ogunrinde, director of the Foundation
for Skills Development (FSD) in Nigeria told NAIJ.com that no reason is
justifiable enough for women to commit adultery. “There is absolutely no reason
why a woman would cheat on her husband if they are legally married; no religion
supports that apart from the fact that it is morally wrong,” she said adding
that the women who engage in such practice are covetous and not satisfied there
could be solutions to their problems.
“They (the women) always feel that
there is something better out there than what they have inside instead of work
to ensure that what they have inside is made right. “The reason people give is
that the man is also cheating but that is not an excuse to also do same. Two
wrongs don’t make a right. Some also say it is because the man is not sexually
active or financially strong, but do these give you the right to do what is
wrong?” she asked.
She advised women to always remember
that their duty is to build the home and that whatever they do will affect
their children.
She urged women in the practice to stop and
get counseling or get a mentor to encourage and talk to them especially once
they are faced with the temptation.
“Men get away with a lot of things
but how would children forgive their mother who commits adultery? It is
difficult. You cannot be building a home and using your own hand to destroy the
home,” she noted. For men who commit adultery, she said such act belittles them
advising them to always remember that they have children who should keep their
names.
“Men should control themselves and
be careful where they sow their wild oats because you do not know who is
watching,” she said.
The Breaking Times had reported two
weeks ago that a man’s manhood was chopped-off because he took a second wife.
The report which is said to be unconfirmed,
was reportedly shared on Facebook. According to Ibrahim Muazzamz who shared the
photo, the man’s manhood was severed because he took another wife. There was no
statement regarding who carried out the act and how the act was committed.
Soruce:Naij .com
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